In films, when the heroine undergoes a metamorphosis, it looks SPECTACULAR!
She sees it, she GOES for it, everyone is rooting for her, she GETS just exactly what she's looking for and they all live happily ever after.
In the real world, change doesn't look like that.
Here's why:
In order to achieve results in your life that you don't currently have, you have to think thoughts that you don't currently think.
You have to BELIEVE NEW THINGS, which is uncomfortable for our lower brain, the part of the brain that delegates what we do to autopilot.
Think about how much you do every day, with relatively minimal brain power.
You didn't always know how to do those things, but through a process of repetition, your brain has automated processes for what you've learned - from brushing your teeth, to driving your car and bike, to navigating your company's networks and systems and so much more.
Today, you've delegated these tasks to your lower brain which literally does these things without thinking.
Your lower brain is doing it's job - which is to be incredibly effective and automate - brilliantly.
When you try to change up what you do habitually or on autopilot, your brain will PING you back to the thought you've practiced and dialled in because it doesn't distinguish between 'useful' thoughts and 'non-useful' thoughts - that isn't its job.
It's our higher brain's job to differentiate between useful thoughts and non useful thoughts.
Thinking from our higher brains requires significantly more effort for our brain than defaulting to the lower brain's learned processes and so - where a process exists: when we've given the instruction to our brain: In X situation, we think Y, our brain will want to execute that process, every time for the purposes of efficiency.
Think about going from driving an automatic car on the right hand side of the road to driving a stick shift on the left hand side of the road and you have an idea of what we're talking about it here.
It's much more tiring on the brain.
It's why children - in a state of constant learning and growth - need more brain rest than we do. They're working from their higher brains so much more than we are, to learn everything they want to learn about the world.
When we continue to think the thoughts we currently think, we get more of the results we have now.
The fact that significant, lasting change originates in the thoughts we think explains why we see the following in the world. These are changes that are created through circumstance change or action - the change did not originate in the mind:
✔️More than 75% of lottery winners have blown their winnings or gone bankrupt within 5 years of their win.
What they thought about spending money, owning money and themselves as a wealthy person didn't catch up to the reality of their new situation.
✔️ Less than 5% of adults who lose weight on diets actually keep it off.
Their belief systems about food, how they eat, how they fuel their bodies and who they are doesn't change automatically when they lose the weight.
✔️We have so many ineffective leaders.
Their belief systems about how value is created, about themselves, their workplaces and the people they lead don't get dialled in.
Post arrival in the leadership role, they continue to do things the way they always did resulting in extreme overwhelm, or complete withdrawal from the role depending on how they worked before; and why I call reluctant leadership (leaders who don't want to lead).
The process of creating change with our thoughts
Imagine you are standing on one side of a river. This is you today, with your current thoughts, or belief systems, intact.
At the other side of the river is you at your goal. You think differently over there at your goal when you've arrived at the goal by changing your thoughts as opposed to having created the perception of change through your actions or circumstances.
In order to become the new version of yourself, you have to jump into the river, get cold and wet, start swimming and make your way to the other side.
Except you don't know how to swim this river and the current is strong.
Your lower brain will have you jumping out of that river and onto land within minutes.
But if you're committed:
You'll get back in as soon as you can and try again.
You may not make it this time either but because you're COMMITTED, you're going to keep getting in and trying.
As many times as it takes until you reach the other side.
Learning to swim across this river can be uncomfortable.
Sitting in a space between the old, well practiced beliefs and the new belief system requires commitment, courage and perseverance.
Growth: The willingness to BE in the River of Misery doesn't always look SPECTACULAR in the middle of it.
But if you allow it, showing up with commitment and courage to achieve the life you want; to show up in the world exactly as you want, can FEEL Magnificent.
It's having your own back. Betting on yourself and showing up every day to prove it to yourself.
100% worth the discomfort of learning to swim the River.
Because here's what's magical:
Once you know how to cross the River of Misery - that is the process of transitioning from one set of beliefs to a new set of beliefs - you know how to cross it.
This is why my most applied clients see changes in all areas of their lives. When you know how you want to think something and create that reality for yourself, the possibility exists to change your thinking in any area you want to change.
I know how to cross the River of Misery and shore up on the other side there.
I've done it with respect to what I believed was possible in relationships, the way we work in the corporate world, my Work in the world and, because I'm IN for personal growth - I'm back in there right now working on my next transformation.
I can show you how to cross the River.
I'm hosting a FREE 30 minute webinar on BELIEVING NEW THINGS next Tuesday 12 November at 9:30 GMT and I want to invite you to attend. You can register to attend, by clicking HERE.
